silly mormons
I was hanging out in my place, drinking beer; I'd had plenty. Typical AdmiralJack dress code for chillin at home is either camoflauge cutoffs or a kilt and a t-shirt.
There's a knock on the door.
Knowing that my mom was in town that week, I yell, "just a minute!" and scurry to hide the empty beer bottles and just generally clean up a bit (don't like my mom knowing how typically bachelor i live).
Another knock on the door.
"JUST A MINUTE." I say. Not mean or anything, but sharp. Several seconds later, I open the door to three nicely dressed young men wearing ties and holding bicycle helmets. The two in the background look at me with suprise, bordering on terror, and actually take a step back.
The leader of the group looks at me with uncertainty and stammers, "Is Jessica here?"
The two in the background look uneasy.
"Nope, sorry. You probably have the wrong 101, there's six buildings in the complex."
To which the leader replies, "Are you sure Jessica isn't here?"
The two in the background are shifting, restlessly, slowly taking steps away from the door.
Befuddled, "Ummm, yep! No Jessica here, just me. Y'probably want the building next door."
The leader says to me, he says, "Well, would you be interested then in hearing a message about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?"
The two in the background keep tossing exaggerated gestures at the leader of the group, who is unable to see because his back is to them and they're almost all the way across the hall by this point.
"You know.... I wouldn't- but thank you, and best of luck with your mission."
I then extend my hand to Mr. Mormom Leaderman and we shake.... he's obviously uneasy about this whole conversation and seems glad it's over. His friends have already left him.
I close the door, confused as to how awkward those nice little mormons were- the exchange was pleasant enough. They were acting so weird, though.
Because I NEVER sit still, I begin to pace around my apartment. When I turn the corner from my kitchen into my entryway, I have my back to the front door and begin to laugh. Looking at the far wall, I see this, which is plainly visible to anyone standing at my front step:
Comments
Pretty funny story from both sides of the doorway.
Remember that these are young guys on their missions.
Finally someone got the upper hand in a conversation with those people! LOL!
After posting my first comment, (pardon my typos in it), I was out to my wife's site on Multiply.com to send out an invitation for a friend to view her photo album of our 2005 Guatemala Trip to see the ancient Mayan ruins. In scrolling down I came to one of the last photos, which is of two Mormon Elders tracting in Guatemala with a Book of Mormon in their hands. The photo (below) is part of a large mural of the history of Guatemala, in the main foyer of the Guatemala National Museum (Guatemala City). The Book of Mormon presents itself as the religious history of Ancient America -- focusing on a branch of the House of Israel that sailed to the Americas in 600 B.C. The highlight of the book is of the visit of the resurrected Christ to this ancient culture. (The Mayans eventually fell into spiritual apostacy, but the tradition of the "Descending God" remained.) The book and its message has had such an impact on the Guatemalans in their culture and faith, they included the two missionaries bringing the book to them in modern times (restoring the faith of their ancient ancestors to them). The Book of Mormon contains the answers to why the Conquistadors found so many parallels to Christianity (though corrupted) when they arrived in the New World.
Hope you enjoy this central portion of the mural. (This is all I could get in one photo.)
Here is an artists conception of Christ appearing in Ancient America (by Arnold Frieburg -- the artist for The Ten Commandments).
and here is an ancient Mayan relic depicting their "Descending God."
(The Descending God is always upside down -- so you know he is coming down.)
In my last comment, VOX deleted out my photos in posting it, (even though I had been able to paste them into the comment field).
Here is a link to see them on Multiply.com:
http://khernakshipp.multiply.com/photos/album/4/Guatemala_2005_Trip_3_photos
Growing up, my mom would spot them (either the Mormon of the Jehovah's Witnesses) coming down the street, and she would tell me that they were coming, and that it was time for me to "Get spooky."
"Getting Spooky" was: Putting on my scariest jewelry and taking some of my swords and knives to the dining room table for a good polish or sharpening. Chances are they needed it, anyway.
So, I would get spooky, and if the weather was nice she would open the door so that I, sitting at the dining room table, was clearly visible not three feet inside, surrounded by sharp pointy things and often with my huge black cat, Eleanor, sitting and looking very pleased with himself (yes, it was a he) as I went to work.
Usually they would come up all smiles, then stop and back away. The less observant would actually make it to the door and knock before they saw me. If they had been spotted far enough down the street, my mom would pull out the makeup and do the full-on stereotypical Marilyn Manson-tyle makeup on me real quick.
My mom has twisted and wonderful sense of humor.
I bet those dudes were pretty much crapping their pants.
I hope you and your mom didn't damage any of those poor, virtuous souls.... unless they were being pushy. That being the case, then damage away. These kids, though, were very nice. I almost feel bad.
That last bit was a lie.
OMG! You have a Shit List! Hilarious! You rock.
My dad, a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant, used to tell Jehovas Witnesses who came to our house and asked if they could talk to us: "Well, I'm in the middle of cleaning my guns. I've got my M16 in pieces right now, but come right on in." It worked like a charm.
I'm from the middle of nowhere and it was often the same people every time, or I had seen them with the other ones from before. They're very pushy, because in small towns EVERYONE knows who goes to what church, etc. We didn't/don't go to church and everyone knew it and thus many people didn't trust us and were trying to "help" by forcing their brand of religion on us. My mom would answer the door when I wasn't home and would be polite, but if they literally put their foot in the door, she'll slam it on their toes.
Didn't help my mom is half of a biracial couple and so I and my younger brothers are mestizos, but that's another story...
Anyway, I'm pretty sure some of them used it as a sort of hazing ritual. I mean, more than once I saw familiar guys across the street, snickering as the newbie/s walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. Sometimes they would have cameras.
Pretty intimidating poster.
I drink beer and had a very bachalor life style as well. I also had contempt for Jesus and Christians.
There was a guy named Paul who used to also be an enemy of Christianity.
He had an encounter with Jesus while he was
I think my mother inviting Missionaries and Witnesses in to compare her Hebrew Bible with their religion freaked them out, too.
Jack . . . I like you, your style. You evidently like you also. That is a good trait. We are all in this clinical "lab" called life together, We bump in to each other and we learn from our day to day travels. Thanks for treating Elder Green and Elder Rogers with kindness. What ever other good natured fun was pointed at them by you and other Voxers was understandable . . . we even poke fun at ourselves a LOT. Thats all . . . glad to have "made your aquaintance" and to have witnessed your good heart.
Some dude tried to sell me 40 acres in Apple Valley 35 years ago. Bet it has changed a lot. Prolly should have bought it. Did get a free tour of the area and lunch out of it tho. Jack, I know you don't need ME to tell you this, but you are ok!! JP
Fun story! I love it. I remember people at our doors when i was littlei did not like it. But now that I have my place I just dont answer the door. I do feel bad, i mean it's important to them. Plus i love to talk to people and debate, maybe i should open the door(thinking).
good day!
Great story! Is that an FAL you have kicking around your apt? Sweet.
I had a Hindu family for neighbours once, fairly secular yet still traditional. One day the patriarch was dressing a goat or lamb for a pit BBQ when the Mormies came a-knockin. He answered the door with his bloody apron on, blood almost to his elbows, and a rather big knife in one hand. The Mormies stammered a few words, then ran off after they were invited in for the party. It was a beautiful day.